Actress and self care villain Gwyneth Paltrow is confused by Khloe and Tristan cheating drama, but she knows her body.
When she saw a stray tweet that disparaged the "saggy" boobs of 40-year-olds, she didn’t let it slide.
Gwyneth took the OP to task, insisting that "forties titties" could be "all that and a pack of chips."
A mostly body-positive tweet that unfortunately excluded older people took off on Twitter.
"Someone just asked me if my boobs always have to be out," the tweet begins.
"LMAO yes bitch," the post reads. "They do."
"i’m 21 years old," the tweet continues. "This is prime titty time."
"When i’m 40 and they’re saggy," the writer promises. "I’ll put them away."
"But until then," she asks. "Can shut your mother teresa turtleneck wearing ass up and mind your damn business."
Anything that you post could always get screencapped and shared by someone hoping to boost their own page using your words.
That is what happened with this post about young boobs — and a certain Goop fiend saw them.
"Hey now," Gwyneth Paltrow interjected.
"40’s titties can still be all that and a pack of chips," she wrote indignantly.
Gwyneth concluded her admonishment: "Don’t you forget it."
The Goop founder is 46 years old and understandably was feeling a little defensive of tatas everywhere.
Of course, not everyone believes that Gwyneth writes her own social media comments.
"These comments from gwyn are fake as f–k,” a post accused back in February.
“Feel bad for poor millennial that ghost writes them," the accusation expressed.
"Hope they are getting paid well," the conspiracy theorist wrote. "Or some goop credit."
If the idea of getting paid in Goop credit sends a chill down your spine, don’t worry.
Maybe a nice vaginal steaming will warm you right up.
That conspiracy theory did not go unseen or unchallenged.
"Sit on it," Gwyneth herself fired back. "I write all this dumb stuff myself you jackass."
She then suggested that she uses social media to relax.
“What else do moms do in the bath with a glass of wine?" she asks.
We have to say that we believe her.
What person under 39 would write "all that and a pack of chips" in any context?
Now, Gwyneth may have jumped the gun a little bit when she called out that boob post.
The 21-year-old who’s proud to have her boobs on display was speaking of herself.
Nowhere did she insist that women in their forties are obligated to pack away their breasts in storage.
She didn’t even say that they’re all saggy.
It’s just that she expects that her boobs will be saggy when she’s literally twice as old as she is now.
Some older folks may question Gwyneth’s use of the word "titties."
For a long time, it was used as a derogatory term to dehumanize women by discussing their body parts.
However, the term — and its variant spelling, tiddies — has been reclaimed in recent years.
People proudly discuss their own titties, and we say people because it’s an increasingly gender-neutral term.
Guys, gals, and nonbinary pals alike may discuss their own "tits."
Seriously, if you see a discussion of Henry Cavill on social media, you’re more likely than not to find someone mention his tiddies.
We basically never say this, but good for Gwyneth for helping to take the sting out of a very fun word.
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