DURING my teens, my parents made me join a swimming team where I had to swim hundreds of laps every morning before the sun came up.
It was supposed to teach me discipline - but the most valuable thing I learned was how to orgasm discreetly in a public swimming pool.
By twisting my legs around the lane ropes and squeezing my pelvic muscles together, I learned I could get off without anyone knowing, and it became a kind of secret rebellion at being forced to be there.
And it seems I'm not the only woman who gets off on a little public me time. Last week it was revealed that a female audience member of Tom Hiddleston’s Broadway show, Betrayal, got off during the star’s performance.
Hiddleston, of course, became a pin-up for women all over the UK after he pinned his co-star Elizabeth Debicki against the wall in a very raunchy scene from The Night Manager.
But while many women might have fantasised about Hiddleston, few have gone to the lengths of the woman in the theatre.
"My companion could feel a rhythmic banging against his armrest, punctuated by occasional low moans and giggles," a fellow audience member revealed.
Describing the person making the "banging" noise in their row at the performance as a well-dressed "young woman in her thirties," they added: "[It] got faster and faster until there was one slightly louder ‘Ha’, and she resumed her normal seat position, put her head back and closed her eyes."
While I’m yet to experience the Big Oh in a public theatre (never say never – it’s on my bucket list), I can relate.
'I stood at the window, hoping the neighbour would catch me'
I can certainly see what led our theatre-goer to indulge in some public self-love - there is nothing sexier than the idea that someone is watching you in the act.
In my early twenties, a few years on from my one-woman pool party, I became more brazen. I'd open the curtains to masturbate in front of the street outside my bedroom window at night.
There was something unmistakably thrilling about the idea of a neighbour wandering by and catching me in the act.
Knowing my naked body was being illuminated by the streetlights outside, and could be readily viewed by passers-by, brought with it a rush of adrenaline that led to mind-blowing orgasms.
Nor did I restrict my antics to my free time.
Some years later, while working a mind-numbing office job, I took a lipstick vibrator to the restrooms and got off on my lunch break.
I’ve never been more productive at work than I was after that bathroom visit.
You might be surprised to learn that I’m far from the only woman masturbating in public. Internet message board threads and surveys reveal that as many as 30 per cent of women have indulged - and scientists believe there might be a medical reason some women find public masturbation so arousing.
Tom Hiddleston goes topless in The Night Manager
'I like imagining someone watching'
Though I’ve never been caught in the act, most of my sexual fantasies revolve around the idea of someone watching me.
Sexual thrill seekers like myself, have lower amounts of dopamine-regulating receptors in our brains – according to a study by researchers at Vanderbilt University in Nashville.
This essentially means we get a larger-than-average “hit” of the feel-good neurotransmitter, dopamine, every time we engage in a daring act, say, like masturbating to a Tom Hiddleston show in a public theatre.
And there are millions of us deviants out there.
Surveys have found that 20 per cent of men and 19 per cent of women have masturbated in their car, while 39 per cent of people have masturbated at the office.
Masturbation is an effective stress-reliever and has been linked to increased mental clarity and improved self-confidence.
Is it any wonder, then, that more and more of us are going to great lengths to squeeze in a daily fap?
'My boyfriend is OK with my public masturbation'
My boyfriend Ky is well aware of my sexual habits and would never try stake a claim over my sexuality.
But while most women are less open than myself when it comes to admitting to a furtive fumble in public, a recent Reddit thread on the subject suggests many of us do it.
"Among the best public masturbation I have done has been at a remote but busy nude beach with a large wooded area behind it… I made sure I was near a track so I would catch the eye and invite others to peek as they passed by," one female commentator wrote.
"I think it's easier when you have lady bits. I usually do it in front of others without anyone noticing," confessed another.
However, those interested in following suit should know it’s technically a criminal offence.
If you’re caught in the act in the UK, you can be sentenced to 14 days in prison, which is a steep price to pay for your orgasm.
Women get away with more
And unsurprisingly, there’s controversy surrounding the idea of a "double standard"” when it comes to the genders masturbating in public.
News coverage of female sexual deviance is typically comic or eroticized, whereas men tend to pay a steeper price in the eye of the public – branded with negative labels, like "pervert" and "creep".
Regardless of the societal and legal repercussions, there will always be those among us who risk it all to ride the Oh Train in public.
And as for those of you reading this and cringing at the thought of someone having an orgasm next time you take a trip to the public pool?
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Studies suggest there’s roughly 75 litres of urine in that pool at any one time.
So really, orgasms should be the least of your concerns. Just saying.
Nadia Bokody is a sex columnist and Instagram influencer. Continue the conversation on Instagram: @nadiabokody
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